Are you still reading these?

I got the impression (from the comments) that hardly anyone was reading this blog. My close local friends hear these stories in person. If you actually follow the blog, leave a quick comment below and I will continue sharing my adventures...like the time I saw the lady taking a bath in a puddle on the street...completely naked!!!!

The Dentist with the Wandering Boobs

I went to a new dentist recently for a teeth cleaning. He came highly recommended by my coworkers. Interestingly enough, he is
Panamanian, but he sounds 100% Cuban. He´s got confidence and swagger that reminds me of the Cubans from Miami...not that I know many, besides "Pitbull" (the rapper). In fact, he told me "I don´t sound Cuban, the Cubans sound like me!"

I get in the dentist chair and instead of the "Cubano", I get a young woman dentist. She tells me that she will be my dentist today. She was easy on the eyes so I didn´t mind. Overall, she and
her assistant did a good job. What suprised me however was that
throughout the cleaning, as she reached over to clean my teeth from
diffrent angles, she put her breasts against my head! I´m not
talking about once or twice, it was like 10 times. I was trying my
best not to laugh!!!

For the record, she was not trying to seduce me, nor did she set her breast firmly on my head. However, they came into contact with my head many times. I don´t think she even noticed.

Donald Trump Comes to Panama...Perfect Time for a Flood

Recently, the new "Trump Tower" opened for business. It is a huge
building that is a mix of apartments and hotel rooms. I´ve been inside one of the apartments. They were very nice, but I wouldn´t rent one. I don´t like the area, because it smells like dirty water in that part of town (Paitilla/Punta Pacifica) AND the streets flood all the time when it rains.

Ironically, on the day they open for business, Donald Trump is here
and the streets flood terribly...right in front of his fancy hotel.
This is because Panama city has a terrible drainage problem.

Whenever it rains hard, the streets flood and the water can get up
to 1 foot (or more) deep. I don´t understand why they didn´t fix
this problem...at least in front of this brand new fancy hotel.

I heard through the grapevine, that the hotel is currently losing
lots of money! Not enough people are renting the place. On top of
that, the building isn´t even finished! They are still doing
construction on the upper part of the building, plus one of the
apartment elevators isn´t even finished....Is it me, or DOES THE TRUMP TOWER LOOK LIKE A...???????

Today I Saw the Strangest Thing...

An ambulance (with its siren blowing and lights flashing) had to stop and and pay a toll.

Call me crazy, but if an ambulance is on its ways to an emergency, shouldn't it be allowed a free pass through the toll?????

In my world, by the time the ambulance gets to the toll booth, the gate should already be UP so the ambulance doesn't even have to slow down!

In Panama or the US, It Doesn't Matter...

because sometimes I feel like the 3rd glass. :)

Online Banking - I Love It!!!!

I use one of the most popular banks here in Panama.

Sometimes things take forever here, but thank GOD for online banking. I pay bills, transfer money, etc. all from the comfort of my home. It may be no big deal to you who live in the States, but here its invaluable when you compare it to standing in line for 30 mins just to pay your electricity bill.

Today, I Was That Idiot Going in Reverse on the Freeway

I'm always making fun of people who drive in reverse on the freeway. My thinking is that its dangerous and stupid. Well guess what I did today?

On my way to Colon, I took the South freeway when I should've been on the North. Not a big deal under normal circumstances, but this freeway has a $2.50 toll which I refused to pay.

As I'm driving in the wrong direction, my buddy sees an opening in the freeway divider. But of course he tells me this when I've driven 200 yards past it.

Well I was left with 2 options, 1) keep going, waste time and get shook down for $2.50, OR 2) put it in reverse and go back. My plata (money) is tight these days, so the choice was obvious.

No one was coming, so I hit reverse and made my move and drove 200 yards in reverse on the freeway. I made it back and went through the opening with no problem. The only scare was the police car that was coming as I pulled onto the "correct" freeway. If it was a police car, luckily he didn't come after me.

Kids, don't try this at home.

Fear of Natural or Curly Hair

Its very uncommon to find women (of all races) who don't straighten the **** outta their hair. I believe the perception here (in Pan City) is that wearing your hair curly (or in an afro or anything that's not straight) is not attractive. Its unfortunate, but I believe the mentality is that European beauty is the standard, so if you don't have that look, you are not: educated, professional, attractive, well groomed, blah, blah, blah.

From time to time I see women with a hairstyle other than bone straight and it makes me think "Wow! A woman who has the courage to not follow the crowd." AND If I see a woman with an afro, I am super impressed.

To all the woman out there, ALL types of hairstyles look good. Don't buy into the foolishness! Break free from the brainwashing that society, your parents, of whomever has done to you!

Chiva Party Bus - Adults Only...No Kids On This Bus!

Chiva Party Busses aka "Chivas" are yellow school busses that have been modified:

• Seats have been taking out
• Outside has been painted
• DJ Booth installed
• Full Bar installed
• Hand straps have been attatched to the ceiling
• A few bench seats have been added
• Strobelight added

Chivas are essentially a party on wheels. You and your friends get on the bus, and party just like you would do in a normal club (dance, drink, socialize). The only difference is this bus drives all over the city at 5 mph with the music blasting.

I did it with a bunch of friends for my birthday and it was a lot of fun. It was basically one crowded dance floor that was driving all over the city. The bus stops on occasion for bathroom breaks, but essentially for 2-3 hours you are on that bus partying.

The hand straps are for you to hold onto while the bus is moving. However the bus moves so slow that you don't really need them.

The bus can get quite crowded, so I highly recommend renting one that has AC. Otherwise you will be trapped with 50 sweaty people on a bus. In addition, unless you wanna hear reggaeton all night, give the DJ your music in advance.

Nice Clothes but...WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DO SOME REAL EXERCISE???

I'm putting the Panama YeYes on blast here. (YeYe = people who have or pretend to have lots of money and influence)

There are so many folks that I see at Parque Omar, Cinta Costeira, the gym, CrossFit, etc wearing pretty cool looking workout clothes and matching shoes. The girls will be wearing a brand new color coordinated cute outfit, while the guys are also wearing brand new everything.

One problem my friends, a lot of these folks are NOT DOING ANY REAL EXERCISE!!!! They look nice, but lots of times are:

• Just standing around the whole time
• Walking or jogging super slow
• Talking
• Barely lifting a weight
• Not breaking a sweat
• Run 20 feet and then stop and walk
• On their Blackberrys
• Basically doing nothing OR doing something so lightly that they are not getting any exercise

Its hilarious!

With my athletic, martial arts and sports background, I know what a real workout looks like and most of them are not doing one. In fact, I've come up with a theory:

The fancier the workout clothes, the higher the chance that they are not really do any exercise.

I've had a few come to my martial arts class and not even make it through the warm up!

Jiu Jitsu and Hooters???

In Panama city, there are quite a few Jiu Jitsu academies:

• Spartan
• Gracie Barra
• Carlos Vincente
• BJJ 507
• Panama Fight
• Fight Shape

I currently train with one those academies. I'm still very new to the jiu jitsu scene here, but from what I can see, people seem to be pretty serious. After taking only 10 classes, I entered a tournament here and actually won for my weight class and level (white belt).

The first guy I beat by points. I was able to take him down and escape his submissions with my strength. The second I beat with technique. I got him down and into side control, then I eventually got him in an armbar.

Jiu Jitsu is great, I just wish I had more free time to train.

FYI, the medal I recieved has "Hooters" written on it. The tourney was not sponsored by Hooters, nor were there any Hooters girls there. :(

Paying Parking Tickets - Cute Girls Get to Cut

Its kind of hard to get a parking ticket here. There are not many parking meters around the city and those are the only places I know where you can get a ticket.

Well I got one. I read the back of it and is said that the fee is 25 cents per hour until you pay it. That's nothing if you pay it right away, but if you don't then it starts adding up by $6 every 24 hours. To pay it you have to go down to the one the city buildings and stand in a LONG line and wait forever. Luckily I was with a cute friend, so the security guard let us cut.

While waiting in line, I got to see some of the real people of Panama. Everybody except one person was some shade of brown. My friend told me that this place is a reflection of what Panama really looks like, unlike where I work and live.

Dry Cleaners - Oh You're Fancy Now

I'm fortunate to be able to live in a nice area of Panama city. One of the luxuries of living in this area is having easy access to many conveniences (gas station, pharmacy, shopping mall, restaurants, dry cleaners, etc).

Near my place, there are 3 dry cleaners. Two of them are Chinese "hole in the walls" and the other is pretty modern and high tech. I used to go the the Chinese ones because the prices were about $1 per shirt. However, I noticed that they didn't do a good job of pressing my clothes. In other words, my clothes looked rumpled and a little wrinkled once they gave them back to me.

After many disappointments, I decided to try the higher end dry cleaner. This place is more expensive and charges about $2.40 per shirt. The benefit of this place is they send you a text message when your clothes are ready AND they have a 24 hour self service window. With this self-service window, you enter your code and then the machine finds your clothes and delivers it to the window.

I could see something like this being in Japan, but never expected to see it here. I never even seen anything like this in the US.

Casinos - It Ain't Vegas

There are lots of casinos around Panama City. From the outside, some of the casinos look huge, but when you go inside, they are not that big. I've been to Vegas and even some local casinos in Washington, and they are all way bigger than the ones here.

Most casinos will have slot machines and some card tables. Some of the casinos have dance floors and live performances. Some casinos are more for locals (Fiesta), while others are a mixture of tourists and prostitutes (Veneto).

I'm never been a big casino person, but I'm not impressed by the ones that are here.

Car Repair - Dirt Cheap Here

If you can find a local mechanic to fix your car it should be pretty cheap. You mainly pay the cost of the parts, and almost nothing for the labor.

Another perk of this town due to the underpaid workforce. :(

Throwing a Party? If Don't Want it to be Dead, Listen Up

In Panama, lots of people have to work Saturday (usually 8am till 1pm). I've learned through trial and error, that if you want a to plan a party or event do it either Saturday night or Sunday during the day.

Because people work Saturday, most folks will not want to go to or stay long at an event on a Friday night. For that same reason, Saturday during the day is a terrible time to host an event.

Your best bet is to throw a nighttime party on Saturday and throw a daytime event on Sunday. Keep in mind, that there are always unknown factors that can ruin your plans (such as rain, the city's water has been shut off, family obligations, etc.)

Disappearing Employees - Another One Quit Again?

The employee turnover in Panama city high!

There is a Texaco gas station by my house. I'm not kidding when I say that every month, the person that works behind the counter has been replaced with a new face.

This is very common in many places of service oriented business (restaurants, gas stations, department stores, toll boths, etc). Some get fired, some quit, some just don't get paid enough to care. I'll let a Panamanian tell you the reason why, but I'm just stating what I've observed on MANY occasions.

It would be a nightmare for me if I ran a business where I always had to hire new employees.

Car Washes - Great If You Don't Mind the Wait

To get your car washed, its about $4 to $6 for inside and out. A great deal and they do a good job (they even armor all your tires and interior). The only issue is that you have to wait about 30 minutes to an hour for them to clean your car.

If you make time for this, then its not a problem, but if you want a quick last minute wash, forget it! In other words, I've yet to find a place where you can just drive in and wash your car yourself in 10 minutes by dropping a bunch of quarters in a machine. Nor do they have a place where you drive through while spinning brushes and machinery wash and dry your car.

Those things doesn't exist here...manual labor does.

So if you are in a rush, or you want to wash your car at night...too bad for you!

Where Are the Active People Over 30???

I've been noticing a trend...

The active people around here are mainly under 30 years old. By active, I mean:

• Going to the gym regularly
• Running in the park
• Training martial arts/crossfit/etc.
• Dancers (including bboys)
• People who go out to nightlife social events

Where I lived in the US, I was used to people being very active in their "Dirty" 30's. It was very common to find people who were 30+ doing all of the things (and more) from the list above. Here not so much...

Whenever I participate in various activities and events here, I'm usually one of the oldest people. In fact, a few weeks back, I entered a Jiu Jitsu tournament and because I'm over 30, they wanted to put me in the "Senior" category!!!! What??? (FYI, I entered the regulary category and beat the 20 years olds that I "fought" to win first place).

For me and my friends back home, 30's are the new 20's, but here, 30's seem like the new 40's.

Some might argue that the mentality here is more of "get married and start a family soon" than it is in the US. While I know it might be a little harder, what law says that you can't be active if you are married or have a family???

Cold Showers - Better Here Than in the US

One of the perks of being in a tropical location is the weather. Its always warm here. That fact really can make a difference when you are put into certain situations that would piss you off in other places.

Case in point:

Months ago, my water heater stopped working. Translation, no hot water for anything in my apartment. Not a big deal for washing clothes, dishes, drinking, etc. However for showers, that could really suck!

For 1 month, I was forced to take cold showers. Well ironically, whenever I took a "cold" shower, the water was still a slightly warm. It wasn't great, but it was tolerable. If this would have happened at my place back home, a cold shower would have meant a freezing COLD shower, but not here!

To this day, at times I take a shower and I turn the hot water off, because the cold water is fine.

Sometimes you just gotta appreciate the little things.